teaching and being taught.

yesterday i was a substitute teacher associate at an elementary school in cedar falls.
what an experience. i left the end of the day wanting to kick off the high heels and hang out with someone my own size. but the moments within the day were irreplaceable.

i was subbing as a one-on-one aid for a kindergarten student, Jayden, who is non-verbal with mild non-compliant behavior. there were several moments where he would not respond to my words with actions or words of his own, and where i could not make him budge. suddenly so much seemed beyond my control. in moments such as those i wonder why i went into special education. in watching others interact with students much like Jayden, i'm reminded of where my heart breaks. in knowing these students will be rejected by peers and society. labels slapped all over them. frustration had by others as we sometimes fail to provide and relate.

my day at school was also filled with moments of other kindergarten students.
a little girl who always spoke very loudly, was the social butterfly, the 'mom' when we played house at recess, and the one whose name i heard dropped the most by the teacher: Savanna. how ironic.
Lydia shared with me that someone had thrown up in the bathroom and there were chunky things on the floor. sure enough.
Drew wore around football shoulder pads, talking tough to everyone he came in contact with. his future in full view.
Bryn told me that she figured out the tooth fairy lives in her mom and dad's bedroom and sleeps under their bed. that's funny
Jackson made transformers out of legos that flew across the classroom during indoor recess. he drew detailed pictures of spiderman and told me heroic stories. Jackson also left his lunch bag in the cafeteria and together we went on a search for it. as we came up empty handed i asked Jackson what his lunch bag looked like and he said, 'it's just a brown paper sack but my mommy wrote me a note on my napkin and it's really special. i'm just going to be sad to lose it.' tears rolled down his cheeks.

moments were challenging. others made me laugh out loud and smile. and at the end of the day, the impact those children had on me was worth every moment.
it's funny how we are taught as we teach.
what a beautiful job it will be.