waiting in this life.

i'm not sure the message could have been any more relevant to my heart and thought process as it stands now.

waiting.

a term that sounds unattractive and better left avoided.
a concept i'm terrible at living out. and yet an inevitable concept - required in this life.

when thinking about waiting - several things in which i've waited for over the past year ran through my head.

waiting for relief.
waiting for healing over wounds in which the depth is unexplainable.
waiting for freedom in my struggle to fight my mind and heart that drifts to things past. vivid words and actions that i would rather delete, but without a choice they arise again.
waiting for direction on where to go from here.

in thinking about all of this today - it became clear that many of the things i wait upon are already present.

relief. only in Christ do we find a peace in which we cannot comprehend.
healing. Christ' life has been given that we may be made whole. healed. and secured in Him.
freedom. it is for freedom that Christ has set us free.

all offered to me as His child. gifts left unopened. perhaps because i fear the depth of my mess is beyond a blanket of freedom or a dash of healing. that's not what my Savior has in mind anyway.

He has already given Himself as an ultimate sacrifice, that i may embrace the gift of being a child in which my Father is committed to lavishing love upon.
wholeheartedly.
eternally.


perhaps He is waiting on me to trust Him.