one day at a time.

today seemed much like a rat race.

alarm goes off at 7:15.
snooze pushed three and a half times before i decide to brave the ice box of our basement and get out of bed.
arrived at school. loved on some third graders. we read books together. wrote together. and played.
arrived at my next school. welcomed with a hand-made card from Elizabeth that says, "Thank you Miss Conlee". filled with colorful pictures and notes about how fun it has been to have a literacy buddy.
to campus for class.
dashed home to get out of my teacher get-up and grab something for dinner. i got a card in the mail from my high school English teacher. inspirational thoughts about teaching. quite random and funny.
received an e-mail that in fewer words said, "You've been accepted to student teach in Africa. congratulations!"
back to school - to meet with my supervisor and discuss my teaching that was observed earlier today.
night class. aka. day dream for the next three hours.
randomly decided to visit my closest friends family - where i was greeted by her younger sister in her halloween constume. a rock star bunny. why didn't i think of that. a place where questions were asked and encouragement was embraced. mom was making fudge. and more than once said, 'here. this is our treat bucket. get yourself some chocolate.' she knows the face of a college student. i even got to hear the practice of a Christmas pageant solo.
i landed at home to embrace four hours of homework. laundry. and to-do list.
late night phone calls from a great friend. life shared

days are packed with opportunities to see glimpses of joy in our midst. and today i embraced beauty in the busy.

days can seem so long. even in Africa.

may love be what compels us all.

last night in our small group we talked about compassion.
a word i admire. a gift i think i acquire. and a passion for such a heart action that it has driven me to learn more.

ideas shared about what compassion looks like when pouring it over others and ourselves.
a shared love and understanding of your heart despite your sin. everyone desires it. moments crave for it to be present. and yet why is it so hard to be compassionate toward everyone?

our automatic and far too quickly established judgements toward others sabotage any glimpse of compassion.

hurt and pain caused by people leaves us staring at the hole in need of healing - and turns off the valve of compassion.

and all the while we stare at our own hurt. and stir the depths of how deep we were wounded. focusing only on ourselves - we completely miss the fact that the other person also has a well of hurt and pain in this life. that they too desire and long for someone to understand.

compassion - a gift used to show and remind others that God understands. a gift that has been shown to us in the greatest manner possible. a gift we all desire to have poured over us through our days. and a gift that can be used through us when we love sacrificially. for it is then that we are loving as Jesus does.

i like it.

the simplicity of a child.

finding admiration in the simplicity of children.
their ability to make-believe and not be disappointed when imagination does not become reality.
they simply enjoy the adventure.

this is my friend Jacob.

we've become buddies this semester. we master weekly spelling words - write in journals - and laugh at good books together. Jacob's father passed away in April - and as a result - Jacob needs some extra tender loving care throughout the day. Often times when my back is turned - i'll be shocked at the sudden squeeze at my waist - assured that it's Jacob coming in for yet another hug.

Jacob has had labels written all over his learning ability and life up to this point. the last thing he is in need of is another person to walk into his every day and view him as the one who lags behind. and when telling Jacob that i believe in his ability to learn - he smiles real big and nods his bold brown eyes.

just today in music class - all of the kids were singing along to a cd. i happened to glance over and see Jacob strumming away on his air guitar. his strumming seemed to slow down when changing chords - but that's only natural. with the look of a rock star - Jacob had completely left room 109 and entered his own stage.

while teaching our reading comprehension lesson today - i turned to look at Jacob and he was sitting nicely in his chair - flexing is big nine year old muscles and pinching his biceps as if to measure all he was.

a simple child. unashamedly living with a lot of love to give. and yet so many have walked away from loving him because of an outward appearance and ability.

we too are that child.
but all too often the weight and burdens of life cover the child in each of us.
the well of hurt and pain. experiences. past. and present.
and yet we are still children. children of God. and when He sees us rock out on our air guitar or flex our muscles in the middle of class - i'm sure He is smiling over us.
with an unexplainable capacity - His love for us as His children is unconditional.
a love that will never walk out - even when we do.

create in me - a life of simplicity.

drink from the spring. be refreshed my child.

some days i just want to escape the inescapable.
leave it all behind. take off on a journey away from the monotony of to-do list and never-ending schedules. of course leaving such things always entails that it will be here when you return.

darn.

this past weekend i had a glimpse of an escape.
a journey home. to spend time with family. away from the every day. and into the refreshing.

a weekend filled with spontaneity and randomness:
- shopping with my mom [almost unheard of].
- visiting my brother in the fields - harvesting corn. and remembering why i so greatly appreciate how different we are.
- taking on adventures at the pumpkin patch. remembering my childhood as i pushed a little cart and filled it with pumpkins. tis' the season.
- roasting hot dogs and marshmallows over an open fire while sharing stories with my mom and dad about how life once looked an how different it seems now.
- attending an old country church with my mom and dad where old ladies bake cinnamon rolls to be consumed after service and pinch your cheeks as they make comments about how grown up you are.
- watching my brother coach third and fourth grade soccer. his enthusiasm and love for children overflow.

refreshing. i embraced the freedom within those three days as i am thankful for my time there.

and today the to-do list was recreated as the 'play' button was pushed on the start of another week.

may this one not pass by without living in the overflow of the refreshment i have tasted.

welcome inside.

i have been desiring a place to toss and splash thoughts over my days and struggles in this life.

perhaps this created space will be filled with such.

may it overflow with honest thoughts. imperfections. questions left unanswered. and pieces of truth that reflect a greater glory.

welcome inside.