unashamed love.

i often marvel at the ways i learn through children.
the group of children i'm working with this week have shown me a glimpse of myself.

luke made the choice yesterday to hit another camper, and unfortunately had to be sent home. the tears in his eyes the moment i told him, struck me. sudden impact of his actions were being felt as the consequences were received.

tears were rolling down sam's face while we began opening worship. noticing him in the back, i knelt down to his side. jade had given him an indian bracelet and twisted his arm. sam was hurt. when giving jade an opportunity to say something to sam, he said, "i'm really sorry. i thought you were playing. because i know i was playing." tears streamed down jade's face at the realization of how his play had hurt sam. apologizes were had and sam and jade proceeded to sit by one another. smiles wide.

avery was weeping after completing a game. she was excited that her team won, but her sister thought she was bragging. avery wanted her sister to know she was happy, but her sister continued to ignore her. avery squeezed tight into my arms for a big hug. her tears stopped like the flip of a switch while she looked at me and said, "i'm going to go watch out my eyeballs now." i laughed at the unknown humor of this first grade girl.

so many children. wild and energetic. so much to be learned in years to come. and from them i am learning too. the humility in realizing you have hurt someone else with your actions. the shame that we feel when others find out. how we ache when consequences are embraced. and the irreplaceable assurance of being held through tears.

the kingdom is entrusted unto children such as these.
a kingdom where unashamed love reigns.

fast moving.

do we as people know how to slow down?
do we understand rest?

living in a world where life occurs at a fast pace. the things required of us demand our time and insist of it now. we go and we move and we accomplish. and when completed more arrives, only to continue in a similar pattern established at a well-known pace.

coming to the end of my week off - i feel as if i didn't slow down.

do i even know how?

long time coming.

summer continues to pass by at a rapid pace.
things look different than perhaps i thought they would.

five weeks into my job i've broken my arm once more. without a need for surgery, i await for it to heal. wearing a rather attractive brace which produces a lot of sweat, and allowing others to help me is difficult at times.

africa has become a closed door. days spent pondering. waiting. and anticipating only for the details to not come in full as they were first expected to. placements still being found in iowa. now awaiting a new list, and perhaps it will come together at just the right time.

i'm longing for consistency. week after week i find myself driving a different van, to a different town, in charge of a different group of people, staying with a different generous host family, while doing the same thing.

my heart begs to settle. and by settling i don't mean being content and still - but rather being ok being unsettled.

i know of only one thing that is consistent.
may it become my all.