laughter.

within a long list of questions i was required to ask my cooperating teacher this week, one asked the most valuable advice that she could give me as i begin teaching. she simply said: laugh a lot.

and today was filled with much of that.

while working on an assignment, i was walking around the room making sure everyone was working hard. i happened to look up at Elijah when i spied him discreetly tearing a piece of paper off of his notebook and quickly shoved it in his mouth with hopes of not being noticed. after laughing inwardly, and questioning why anyone would eat paper, i gently tapped Elijah on the shoulder and asked him to spit it out in the trash can. upon sharing this with his teacher, she said, 'oh doesn't surprise me. he eats a lot of paper! every time i remind him it's not part of any food group!'

after indoor recess Elijah comes to my side and reports, 'L.B. told me he wants to cut off my ear lobes with a knife and tape my mouth shut'. unfortunately L.B. had to be sent to the principal's office at the mention of the word knife. 

Payton and Addison were at the listening station during reading - wearing over sized headphones - and completing their task. in a room of silent kids working, Payton suddenly shouts, 'IT SOUNDS LIKE A BANJO!' and Addison responds with, 'I THINK YOU'RE YELLING!' the whole class stopped at their loud interjection - and the teacher and i laughed so hard as they both had no idea they were the only ones talking, yelling at that.

i was trying to teach math today when the hiccups overcame me. that's sure to disrupt a classroom full of 2nd graders who laughed every time another hiccup made it's way out. i'll have to continue working on my hiccup volume for future occurrences. 

some moments call for no other response than laughter. 

may i remember that each day i teach. 

naughty.

today marked the day of 'testing miss conlee's management skills'.

my conclusion: i managed a lot of naughty children today.

this morning after picking up the kids from p.e. i noticed Maeve and Maddie both standing at opposite ends of the line with their arms crossed and eyes staring at the floor. little did i know that there had been a fight over a jump rope during p.e. and Maeve was refusing to talk to Maddie. matters which brought both of the girls out of the line so they could have an opportunity to deliver 'i-messages' to one another. 'i'm sorry for not sharing. i would like it if you could use words to tell me how you feel.'

shortly after MariaEster comes to my side and says, 'Miss Conlee Harun told me he was going to shove my face in the water fountain and then he called me a dimwit.' Harun and i had a nice chat about kind words and being a kid of character.

nearly 2 minutes later L.B. comes to my side and says, 'Miss Conlee Harun won't share his pillow with me and after i asked him nicely he told me he was going to flush my head in the toilet.' once more Haurn and i had a nice chat.

lunch duty resulted in catching many students prior to the act of doing something naughty, usually involving the launch of a food item. 

embracing all aspects of teaching as i dig into my inner child and remember my days in elementary school. naughty. dramatic. and child-like.

welcome all of you, career of mine. 

participating.

participation week. a week of fun-filled days in the classroom. participating.

the past two days have been long. busy. tiring. hilarious. and cute. 

2nd grade. the grade i most desire to teach. children with a curiosity about life and learning. many questions to be asked and stories to be told.

the classroom i'm in this week is beginning a unit on 'the earth'. yesterday the students took a 'pretest' involving their own illustration of what they think the earth looks like. they were to label the continents - oceans - and provide as much detail as possible.

walking around the room i saw much. every earth was round. some contained a huge island in the center labeled 'Iowa' and another large island near the bottom labeled 'Texas'. of course. the state you're from and the other biggest state they know. that was their perception of the earth. others were filled with many specific cities, rivers, and towns. each unique. each a reflection of places traveled and known. 

by the way:

Asha = Asia

Yorup = Europe

why wouldn't we spell them like that?

this morning as i stood in the hallway greeting kids as they walked in - i had one dad come up to me and say, "my daughter couldn't stop talking about you last night. 'she's just so pretty. and so nice. and dad, she's just so pretty!' i had to come in and meet you."

Jose came up to me today and said, "Miss Conlee, you're going to be a really great teacher. you could teach any grade. can you stay for the rest of the year?"

Dameon has told me several stories. about the spy gadget he created last night. and how sometimes people call him the 'icky boy' because he REALLY likes mustard!' he also drew me a picture. the first of many. 

nine out of twenty-five students in my classroom this week are English language learners. many are from Africa and Vietnam. by the end of today Charls and Harun were both frustrated - brought to tears - and laid their heads down on an uncompleted assignment. their teacher proceeded to tell me that some days they reach a point where they can't listen to, comprehend, or speak English any longer. 

adorable children come each morning from multiple homes and places in life. all colliding in one room that they might learn. and from them i continue to learn much as i begin to appreciate my role as a teacher. 

love is found.

i wrote this today while observing others around me in the union:

in a corner she sits.
hoping to be avoided.
headphones and lyrics blocking out the sounds of rejection.
the only voices that are heard.
wanting to go unnoticed - for that is all she sees in herself.
hurt - wounded - scars left wide open and unattended.
who is left to care?
can love even be known?
she doesn't make eye contact - for the response she has known before is all she expects now.
love is void and love is needed.
how long will we as people - walk in our ways - sure footed and stubborn to change?
we live in a day where love goes unknown and unreceived.
a day when love is needed most - and we find it void.
is it perhaps the shallowness of our love that accepts only what defines ourselves - and rejects all things beyond what we deem comfortable and justified?
the love i have come to know - the love i have had graciously washed over me has not been extended out of deserved efforts or correct living - but through the simplicity of existing.
through the complexity of how i have been created.
truth i have come to know over me - through doubt and lies that tell me otherwise.
and more than ever my heart breaks with a desire that others- many near to me and many who surround me in this place now - would experience love so purely that this very truth would never be doubted.
despite struggles - sin - differences - and past experiences...

love wins.
love remains.
love accepts.
love carries.
love sets the captive free.

may it be so.

outside.

welcome inside my journal:

what would come of placing ourselves outside of the comfortable?
outside of the black and white - straight and narrow.
outside of the blame we've tacked on others.
outside of guilt and beyond shame.
outside of the baggage we've carried here.
outside of you and me.
outside of the memories we would rather rid ourselves of.
outside of our own judgements cast in light of our skewed view of others.


perhaps we would find reason to love.
perhaps we would find truth in knowing we are loved.
perhaps that would be enough.
enough for a heart to rest.
to stop fighting a battle that cannot be won alone.
and allow love to consume where it was one thought to be vacant.

bring me outside of myself that i would live with reason to love.